9 Most Hilarious Johnny Rose Quotes in Schitt’s Creek


Schitt’s Creek has become a cult classic for its all-around fantastic cast, their performances, and the situations they got themselves into along the way. The six-season series might (unfortunately) be over, but that doesn’t mean fans can’t relive the magic that once was.

RELATED: Schitt’s Creek: 5 Ways The Roses Matured Since The Beginning (& 5 They Didn’t)

Schitt’s Creek revolved around the Rose’s and their fall from their ivory tower. While Moira (Catherine O’Hara), Alexis (Annie Murphy), and David’s (Dan Levy) characters are a hoot, the patriarch, Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy), ties everyone together. He’s savvy, old-school, and the voice of reason for the family, but once in a while, his dry humor made for some good one-liners.

9 Oh, Look At David. Smart Enough To Get That Joke, But Not Smart Enough To Stop Wearing Sweaters In The Middle of Summer.

Johnny insulting David in The Roast episode

While Moira is busy directing the Cabaret show, Johnny is tasked with filling in for his wife’s annual Town Hall Mayor’s Roast. This is something Roland Schitt (Chris Elliot) looks forward to every year, and while Moira is known for her humor, Johnny isn’t.

Johnny is known for zingers at times but takes it a bit too far here and there. After the roast, he can’t help but bring his skills home and gets David good when he points out his clothing choices.

8 Moira, The Woman Dates Dive Bar Owners, Okay? Let Her Insult Us.

Johnny standing with his arms out while Moira applies her makeup in the background in the Little Sister episode

By the end of season one, the Rose’s financial situation hasn’t improved, and Moira’s sister Dee Dee (Jennifer Irwin) visits. Even though she’s not their favorite person, they consider groveling to her for money.

RELATED: Schitt’s Creek: David Rose’s Funniest Quotes

Because Moira and Dee Dee are estranged, Moira thinks it’s a bad idea, but Johnny’s shamelessness shows through when he clarifies that he doesn’t care who she is and that her choice of men is questionable.

7 You Know, Your Trail Of Discarded Boyfriends, Alexis, Is Making It Very Difficult To Get Anything Done In This World.

Johnny standing over raw milk with his arms folded in the Milk Money episode

Johnny and Alexis’s relationship is put to the test when they band together to help Johnny find raw milk. Because Alexis is dating Ted Mullens (Dustin Milligan), a vet, she turns to him to find a source.

Not only is it hilarious that Alexis bought way too much milk, but Johnny’s dig proves that Alexis doesn’t have the best taste in the dating department, until Ted, that is. While there are other adorable couples in Schitt’s Creek, Ted and Alexis are one of the best.

6 Well, Things Seem To Be Going Downhill Fast. Which Is What The Town Must’ve Been Thinking When Roland Elected Himself Mayor.

Johnny sitting next to Roland laughing at town hall in The Roast episode

During the annual roast, Johnny thinks it’s hit time to shine to say what he really thinks of the people of Schitt’s Creek. Laughing it off as a joke, he goes way too far with his jokes, but not before making this one towards Roland.

It’s hard to offend Roland, and the roast line is twice as funny knowing the burn is actually the truth too.

5 I’d Rather Drink The Pipe-Water.

Johnny standing in the hotel lobby while talking to Stevie in The Drip episode

During the second episode of the first season, Johnny and his family are still reeling from their fall from grace. To top things off, Johnny and Moira have a leak in their room, and when Johnny turns to Stevie (Emily Hampshire) to fix it, her reluctance infuriates him.

To really showcase how out of tune the Rose family is, Johnny asks for a luxurious breakfast, to which Stevie mentions the “espresso machine.” David’s reaction is perfect and proves that he’d rather deal with his situation in his room.

4 Talk To The Hand, Son, Because The Ears Are No Longer Working.

Johnny holding his arm out in front of David in the Surprise Party episode

When Johnny is gung-ho about throwing Moira a surprise party, Alexis and David don’t have any part in the planning. Flabbergasted, Johnny tries to one-up David with a classic ’90s burn.

RELATED: Schitt’s Creek: 5 Times Johnny & Moira Were The Best Parents (& 5 Times They Were The Worst)

Although he gets points for trying, the result of his comical insult doesn’t come out right, and Alexis and David still refuse to help out.

3 I Wouldn’t Trust Roland With A Set Of Chopsticks, Let Alone A Dead Body!

Johnny standing behind the lobby desk while Roland talks to a customer in Dead Guy in Room 4

For the first time in years, the motel is sold out, but before Stevie and Johnny can celebrate, they realize the elderly man in Room 4 is dead. Not wanting to alarm the other guests, they try to figure out a way to remove the man before any guests find out.

When Stevie suggests they involve Roland in their plan, Johnny shuts her down fast. By now, viewers and Johnny are aware that Roland can’t be trusted with something like this. Even though the man might’ve had some good advice, he’s a loose cannon otherwise.

2 I Don’t Wanna Be Taken Advantage Of Because I’m Overdressed.

Johnny dressed in a casual outfit next to his new car in the episode, New Car

By season three, the Rose’s have saved up enough money to get a new car. While Moira thinks they should shop new, Johnny’s sensible plan wins in the end. To assure he won’t get taken advantage of at the used car lot, he seeks help from Roland’s closet.

Viewers know Johnny is hardly ever caught without a suit on, so to dress the part, he explains why he needs some of Roland’s clothes. Once a businessman, always a businessman.

1 Tweet Us On Facebook!

Johnny standing behind David while he looks at a coaster in Motel Review

By season three, Johnny is on board to assist Stevie with the hotel. To increase profit, Johnny decides to print coasters for all of the rooms. It’s a cute touch, but what he doesn’t know is how social media works.

Johny believes Twitter and Facebook are one and the same, and it’s is evident when he shouts out this one-liner. Again, the effort is there, but it’s hilarious his social media-obsessed children haven’t taught him a thing or two yet. And, if viewers need more of Johnny Rose, they should check out the hilarious Johnny memes that cannot be put into words.

NEXT: Schitt’s Creek: 10 Things New Fans Didn’t Know About The Actors

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